


Not Exactly Food Network

by BillieBunnie



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Cooking, Bad Puns, Cute, Dorky Flirting, Fluff, M/M, Mild Cursing, Tom stares alot, subtle flirting?, there is not enough TomEdd, they don't burn down the house
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:41:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9622697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BillieBunnie/pseuds/BillieBunnie
Summary: Tom has 0% talent at cooking, and Edd decides to give him a lesson in the form of pasta. Matt would get involved, but he seriously just wants the food.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously not based off the real guys, just the characters! This actually turned out a bit longer than i meant it to.
> 
> Based off a prompt from the lovely Noodlyboo22

Tom washed his hands under almost too hot water, not really minding the burn. His head felt a little achy and he’d prefer a nap at the moment, but Edd had made that face when he tried backing out. That disappointed face, where his bright eyes would grow wide and his lips would almost pucker from him pressing his frown back. Something about that face always shot Tom right through the chest, and he almost stumbled as he took back his dismissal. It was kind of like a puppy pout, only it somehow always managed to look more adorable.

Tom snapped those thoughts off along with the faucet, and went about drying his slightly tingling hands on a small towel. Just then, Edd walked in, though he was still facing the living room.

“Last chance, Matt!” Edd called, his attention mostly on tying an apron around his waist, “You sure you don’t want to join Tom for our cooking lesson?”

From the living room, announced over a low TV show, Matt scoffed. 

“Nope! Last time I tried to use the stove, my hair caught on fire. I’ll stick to pizza pockets and cereal, thank you!” Tom rolled his eyes as he heard the TV switching channels.

“Suit yourself!” 

Edd didn’t seem too bothered, instead focusing on rolling up his sleeves with ease. Edd flashed a small smile at Tom, and he made a sweeping gesture of himself. With his sleeves rolled up and the white apron smoothed across his front, Edd looked pretty excited to get cooking. Tom winced at the words on Edd’s chest. ‘You’re Grate!’ was printed sideways on a picture of a cheese grater.

“Did we always have that? Why haven’t we burned it yet?” 

Edd rolled his eyes, brushing off the slight wrinkles on the garb. 

“Aw, come on. I don’t think it’s that bad. In fact, I think it’s...”

“Edd, don’t-”

“Pretty grate.”

“I don’t want to cook anymore.”

“Ha ha, yes, you do.” Edd laughed at Tom’s flat tone, patting Tom’s shoulder fondly. “Go grab the milk out of the fridge.”

Tom sighed, already moving as instructed, “Fine, but no more puns.” 

“I didn’t know you were in such a bad mood. I’ll try to be more cow-ful.” 

Edd couldn’t help laughing when he looked up to see Tom’s expression. His scowl was obviously disgusted and annoyed, halfway frozen while reaching into the fridge.

“That was awful.” Tom’s tone was almost more offended than anything, causing Edd to snort. He always laughed harder at Tom’s sour expressions. Probably because he knew Tom didn’t mean it.

Tom remained still where he was halfway crouched, holding the posture longer than needed if only just to get his disappointment in Edd’s puns through to him. Edd didn’t bother with the stretched out scold, turning to the full kitchen table. He checked the book, open to a simple recipe that he was sure to be easy enough for Tom’s first time cooking in years. Once Edd turned his attention away, Tom slipped from his mocking posture with the milk in hand.

He reached the table, placing the milk down beside Edd’s arm, and leaning so as to look over Edd’s shoulder at the book. Edd glanced at him, and shifted so that Tom could get a closer look.

“I figured this pasta would be a step up from macaroni and cheese, so it’d be a good place to start.”

Tom hummed in response. “Ah, yes, the only thing I can actually make without burning it. Nice choice. Maybe we won’t have the fire department called this time.”

Edd nudged his shoulder playfully, an encouraging grin on his face. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be with you the whole way. No inferno this time. Wouldn’t want things to get too hot in here,” Edd surprisingly winked, and Tom smothered a laugh, lightly shoving Edd away from him.

“What do we need first, nerd,” Tom asked, glancing from the items on the counter to Edd. 

Edd’s teasing eased away as he leaned down to scan the book, not really knowing this recipe from heart. His expression became somewhat thoughtful, causing his lips to purse.

“Well, first, we need to boil some water...” 

They went about the recipe, filling pots and sprinkling ingredients. Edd stopped Tom just as he was reaching for something, grabbing his arm and making Tom jump. Just when Tom was about to complain, Edd started fussing with Tom’s sleeves. He muttered about how Tom didn’t fold them right, and how loose sleeves could, at worse, be a fire hazard, and, at best, be really messy. He showed Tom how to fold them better, his fingers drawing along Tom’s forearms firmly and making Tom huff. Once that was done, Tom rushed off to lower the fire under the pot, saying that it must be too high for simple pasta. Edd rolled his eyes, but didn’t argue, and instead went about the next step. Tom was fine with cutting up veggies and tomatoes, but Edd kept stopping him in order to ask if Tom had washed them first. 

Tom answered the first time almost tiredly, but, when Edd got huffy and insisted that Tom wash them again, it became a sort of game.

“Tom, you better have rinsed those tomatoes off!” Edd started to stop Tom from adding the chopped reds to the sauce, a suspicious look in his eyes. 

Tom said nothing, just shot him a pointed look and scraped his tomatoes into the pan, the new ingredients sizzling almost cheerfully. Then, he smirked.

“Nope.” 

Edd let out a shout, sounding beyond bothered, but Tom grabbed the spoon from his hands and went about stirring the sauce without him. Edd stood next to him, sputtering and complaining. Tom just continued stirring, Edd practically yapping at his side.

“We’re going to get sick if you throw dirty vegetables into the food, Tom!”

Tom responded by knocking his hip against Edd, nudging Edd out of the way. 

“A little dirt never killed anybody... You’d probably feel more comfortable with the noodles; they’re just as steamed as you are.”

Edd tried arguing further, but his own scowl broke off at Tom’s joke. He rolled his eyes, but turned to the boiling pot. He finally slunk away from the dirty sauce to stir and spice. After a moment of stirring, Tom retrieved the other chopped veggies and slipped them into the sauce. Edd glanced into the pan and blinked.

“Add more water.”

Tom frowned.

“You sure? I don’t want to water it down too much.”

“It’s sauce, Tom. It’s supposed to be able to spread easier than that. Add a bit more water until it actually looks like a sauce rather than pudding, yeah?” 

Tom grunted in thought, but went to do as Edd said. When he added more water, it splashed and some slipped over the edge of the pan to make the fire crackle angrily. Tom and Edd jumped, Tom somewhat inching towards the sink where the fire extinguisher was nested among the pipes. Edd was the first to laugh, reaching out and pulling Tom back to the stove by his hand. He warned him to be more careful, and reminded him that water wasn’t flammable, and even though Tom grumbled, he calmed down pretty fast with Edd’s hand in his. Then, they pulled back and went back to spicing and stirring.

Cooking went on like this for a bit longer, casual remarks and almost fond bickering. At one point, Tom decided to taste test while Edd chopped up the remaining veggies for a salad. Tom ran his finger along the sauce in the spoon, not minding the heat and tasted it for a second. Thinking again, he took a sip from the spoon instead. Tom did this twice more, frowning.

“I think it’s missing something? I can’t tell what, though.” 

Tom scowled down at the sauce, and Edd looked up. He placed down his knife, drying his hands on his apron as he stepped up to Tom.

“Let me try,” Edd suggested, and Tom held up the spoon. Edd leaned forward and took a sip, accidentally smearing sauce at the corner of his mouth. While Tom stared, Edd rolled the taste over his tongue and thought, “Did you forget to add salt?”

Tom almost hit himself. “Of course I forgot to add salt. Fuck.”

Edd shrugged, seemingly indifferent to Tom’s bitter tone. He slipped his finger into the spoon, tasting again. Then he nodded, fingertip resting against his lip for a second longer than it should.

“Yup, salt. Also, more pepper couldn’t hurt, but it’s not bad,” Edd noted, swiping more sauce. Instead of licking it up himself, Edd dabbed it onto Tom’s nose with a light laugh. 

Tom grumbled, sticking his tongue out in distaste. Edd reached passed him and added dashes of salt, pepper, and some other spices Tom hadn’t noticed in the cabinet. Then, Edd backed up with a slightly smug expression, and waved a hand at the bubbling sauce. Tom raised his brows in challenge, stirring in Edd’s measurements, and finally raising the spoon to his mouth to taste. 

He made a show of mulling it over, before he made a dismissive huffing noise. Edd’s expression turned questioning and he gestured for Tom to give him the spoon. Tom shrugged, and held it out as Edd took a taste. When Edd looked at him with disbelief, Tom flashed a half smile.

“It’s perfect.” 

Edd punched him playfully in the shoulder.

“You scared me, jerk! Making me second guess my cooking isn’t nice!”

Tom smirked as Edd huffed and turned back to chop the rest of the salad, calmly raising the spoon up to his own mouth and placing his lips over where Edd’s just had been. The sauce tasted as good as it always was, just the way Edd usually seasoned and flavored a lot of his pastas. It was weird that Tom could feel a sense of ease at making such a simple dish.

The finishing touches of dinner came and went; final stirs, tastes, and finally plating. All dangerous fires turned off, the pots drained and neat and covered to keep the left over food hot. Tom leaned against the counter as Edd put the neat dished plates out to cool. 

The pasta had turned out perfect, as did the sauce, though there were a few larger chunks of veggies that made it look a little messy. The salad was bland and the bread they had put in the oven had burned slightly. They put the butter on too soon, so it just melted right away. It was by no means the nicest meal they had ever had, but Tom felt proud enough. 

Tom and Edd chatted idly, talking about what else might be fun to try cooking next. Edd mentioned baking, but Tom said he’d rather stick his head in the oven. This led to Edd teasing Tom about being scared of cupcakes, and Tom playfully bristled, claiming that he had been mugged by a person in a cupcake costume once. 

Edd ended up laughing so hard that he had to hide his face behind his hands. 

Tom ended up staring while he had the chance.

“Hey, Edd?” Tom called, voice casual, and Edd dragged his hands down his face to look. 

Tom’s face was indifferent, but he reached out and tapped his finger on the tip of Edd’s nose. Then, he held up his finger to show it smeared in sauce.

“Oh, you’re going to pay for that, Tom!” Edd scoffed out an imitation of offense, but his mouth was stretched into an involuntary grin. He reached out, swiped two fingers over the pasta on his plate and reached out to take revenge. Tom laughed, ducking away.

Edd followed after him, brandishing his sauce covered fingers like a sword. Tom’s arm jumped out and he snatched up the sauce spoon. With little hesitation, he smacked the backside of the sauce covered spoon onto Edd’s apron, covering the words with a vibrant red smear. 

Edd let out a startled gasp, a laugh ruining any seriousness he mustered. His face read ‘oh, so that’s the game we’re playing’ and he grabbed one of the plates (he didn’t care whose), before overturning it on Tom’s head. Tom let out a shout choked with a laugh and a gasp, feeling warm pasta sauce flatten his hair and smear onto his shoulders. Edd was laughing hysterically, somewhat trying to apologize around his sauce covered hand. 

“This means war.” Tom whispered darkly, before snatching a handful of pasta mess from his hair and hurling it at Edd. Red sauce and pasta noodles splattered Edd’s chin and front. 

Edd wiped red from his cheek, smearing it across his mouth, looking like a star fighter who just got hit by the wrong guy. His eyes were narrowed with excitement, and mischief. For a brief second, Tom wondered if he had made a mistake, but then he had a face full of heavily buttered bread. Tom tore it off, feeling bread crumbs against his cheek. Edd was several feet away, both hands full of pasta and sauce. Tom couldn’t ignore the way Edd’s tongue poked out between his lips, lapping up the sauce that smeared his chin. 

“Food war,” Edd announced, sounding like he was talking about a game of tag. 

Tom had never been so struck with him as he did in this moment.

Tom threw the bread in his hands, but Edd ducked and hurled pasta dinner like a snow ball. It broke apart and splattered everywhere, hitting not only Tom but also the rest of the kitchen like paint. Tom laughed, blocking his eyes best he could as he grabbed more ammo. Bread, butter, pasta, and sauce flew back and forth. Chunks of tomato stuck to their fronts and in their hair. They felt like kids.

Tom grabbed the bowl of salad and threw handfuls like confetti, and they slipped on the sauce and lettuce. He ended up dropping the bowl (thankfully plastic), when Edd managed to nail him straight in the face with a thick handful of noodles and mushrooms. Tom fell onto the floor, groaning about tomatoes, and Edd was laughing so hard that he slipped too and ended up in his own pile. This small break was exactly when Matt decided to check on the noise.

“Oh my god,” Matt gasped, looking around at the sauce and pasta painted walls and the bread and salad covered floor, before finding his two friends groaning, giggling messes covered in the lot of it, “This is not what I had in mind for dinner at all!”

“Sorry, Matt! Your dinner’s on the table,” Edd was laughing a bit too hard to get his words out clearly, but Matt seemed to understand him. The ginger eyed the kitchen, the mess, and stared at Tom particularly hard, before he delicately made his way to the table.

“Thank you for the meal and all, but don’t wear it next time. Also, I am not helping clean this up, you hoodlums!”

Edd started to get up, probably to help Matt or clean, but Tom snatched him from behind and dragged him back down to the floor, shoving lettuce down the front of his apron.

Edd squealed, and tried crawling away, but was laughing to hard to put up much a fight. He reached out towards the retreating Matt, feeling more sauce scrapped up from the floor drop onto his once clean back.

“Matt, help! He’s cheating! Tag in, tag in!” Edd waved his hand at Matt, who scoffed. Tom yanked Edd back onto the floor, sauce making them both slip.

“I am not getting involved with this weird flirting of yours. It’s way too messy. Call me if you guys decide to flirt in a bath or in pool or something preferably clean.”

Edd and Tom were too busy laughing and wrestling on the floor to listen to what Matt was saying, much to the ginger’s annoyance. But Matt just huffed, rolled his eyes, and resigned himself to the living room with his plate of food. 

It seemed that Edd was losing the battle, too many bits of spinach and lettuce and celery sticking to him like a modern art piece. That was until he found a glob of butter that had fallen off a plate. A handful of butter smeared over Tom’s mouth.

“Oh, nope, I do not want that on my face!” Tom snapped, trying to push Edd away. Pasta, and greens Tom was okay with getting smeared on him, but just pure butter was beyond his comfort zone. Edd laughed triumphantly, trying to smear more butter. Tom grabbed his wrist and tried to keep it away from him, breathlessly laugh and gasping and protesting. 

“I’m just trying to butter you up, Tom! You’re toast!” 

Tom groaned, straining to avoid the smears, panting and playfully cursing.

“I don’t know what’s worse; a bunch of buttery grease on my face or your puns.” 

It only took a bit more struggling and another face full of pasta for the two of them to finally tire themselves out. 

Edd slipped a bit more, and fell on top of Tom, panting. Tom could feel Edd’s breath against his throat, but was too tired to fully notice as he caught his breath. Once they could breathe, they started laughing all over again. It was a circle process, but they finally seemed to calm down enough to breathe again. They laid like that for a long few moments, breathing in sauce and smeared food. 

Edd snorted and choked slightly. 

“Oh god, there’s a mushroom in my nose.”

Tom found himself laughing so hard that Edd jostled and started laughing again too. Edd pushed himself up, Tom right behind him, and they laughed surrounded by sauce and ruined food. Tom could feel butter on his lips, and sauce against his jaw and chest, and there were salad bits in his sauce stained hair. When he looked at Edd, he saw that his friend was no better. He was an absolute mess, sauce smears all over his face like he had gotten shoved into a vat of spaghetti. Lettuce stuck out of his horribly stained apron, and Tom could see a dark leaf stuck to his throat. Noodles held onto his messy hair and his shoulders. His smile was wide and there was a chunk of tomato sticking to his cheek. 

Even now, Tom felt charmed.

“This is really gross,” Tom said instead of what he wanted, and Edd laughed, wiping more sauce from his mouth. 

“Ugh, I know. Why did we do this? This was such a bad idea.”

Tom reached out before he could help himself, and he plucked a pasta noodle that clung to Edd’s cheek, right next to his lips. Without any hesitation, Tom popped the pasta into his mouth and shrugged, as casual as ever. Edd looked stunned.

“I won.” He was sure he did not in the slightest.

Edd flashed a disbelieving look, and reached out. He ran his finger along Tom’s cheek in a quick swipe. He then leaned back, popping the sauce he caught into his mouth and sucking it off his finger tip. His eyes met Tom’s and Tom felt 100% certain that Edd was fucking teasing him.

“Sure you did,” Edd stated, sarcastically.

Tom gulped, unable to mask the shock on his face. After a second, he started to lean forward, reaching out.

“Edd, do you-?”

“We should get this cleaned up.” Edd interrupted, suddenly leaning back and pushing himself up and out of Tom’s reach. He flicked sauce and scraps off his hands, acting as if nothing had happened. 

Had nothing happened?

Tom blinked, unsure and confused, and so, so tempted. But he pushed these thoughts back and nodded, wiping sauce from his chin. “Yeah, you’re right.”

He was ready to push himself up, find a mop, and just move on as if this had been normal. But, then Edd’s hand was held out to him. Tom hesitated for a split second before he clapped his hand into Edd’s and let the other help him stand. They slipped a bit, but managed to stay standing, laughing kind of awkwardly.

Just as Tom was about to let go of Edd’s hand, Edd tightened his grip a bit more. 

“Want to cook together again?” Edd asked, tilting his head in such a way that would usually make his hair flop around his brows. Tom blinked, fighting to keep his expression blank.

“Uh, yeah.” 

Edd licked his lips, clearing them of sauce in a single motion. His eyes glanced away for a second. He hesitated, but then leaned in and pressed his lips against Tom’s. Just a quick, sudden peck. Edd backed up again, red sauce back on his nervous lips.

“I mean, like, cook, uh, together? You know, with maybe just a little… more flirting?” 

Tom blinked, trying to process, trying to think. His eyes were wide and he wished he didn’t have sauce all over his face, wish that wasn’t the only thing he could taste.

“Fuck yeah!” Tom almost shouted, causing Edd to jump and stifle a heavy laugh. As Edd caught his breath, Tom tried to compose himself, “I, uh, mean, yes. Fuckin absolutely. Way more flirting, like a bunch… does that mean there was flirting this time?”

Edd snickered and nodded. “Yes! Yes, there was… And from you?”

Tom felt a stupid smile curl his lips. “Obviously!” 

“Okay, good. Then… next time.”

“Not trying to be pushy, but, uh, why not this time?” If there wasn’t sauce all over his face, Tom was sure he’d still be red. Edd huffed a laugh, looking at him fondly.

“Cause this is really gross.” Edd held up a hand, flicking sauce as he fluttered his fingers. “Fun, but really gross… Next time, we’ll make something cleaner, yeah?”

Tom nodded, and Edd flashed him a smile as he pulled back. As he did, Tom realized a new feeling was smeared over his palm. He flinched.

“Oh, god, Edd! I thought we were having a moment, but you just buttered my hand!” Tom groaned, scowling down at his hand. When he looked up, Edd was wearing a cat like grin.

“Sorry, Tom. Does it churn your stomach to be confronted with a butter flirt than you? You have to admit, I am margarine-ally more slick than you are!”

Tom looked horrified. “I can’t believe I’m trying to date you.”

“I can’t believe it’s not butter.”


End file.
